What life do you feel you should or could have? What do you resent about your life?

Whatever seems to be missing – that is part of your unlived life.

Unlived life, the stock of abandoned qualities

We all carry with us a stock of abandoned, immature talents and potentials.When these are neglected, they can become problematic in midlife, leading to depression or worse. When we are young we have many talents and interests, but only a few of them stay visible. The ‘goodness’ of fit between our innate qualities and that of our parents and teachers, our gender, our social class, our culture– all these have enormous impact on what gets included in our lived life and what is banished to unlived life. A child takes the qualities that the culture rewards and makes them part of his conscious personality, while the reminder falls into unlived life.

In the first half of life we go to college, build a career, find a partner and create a family. When life is busy as never before some of our former dreams and hopes start to loose their magic. It’s time for a new perspective and thus time to dive in those forgotten qualities!

A new perspective in second half of life

Between age 30-50 it is important to start to align external purposes with your inner calling. We start searching for what is authentic and meaningful to us. Our ‘unlived lives’ demand attention. This is a chance to transform regret, disappointment and dissatisfaction into greater consciousness.

If you fall in love with someone outside your existing relationship or if you suddenly hate your job, your husband or the endless demands of our children, the unlived life is asking to engage. When we feel restless, bored or empty, despite an outer life filled with riches, it’s time to pay attention to your unlived life.

To live your unlived life is to become fulfilled and to bring meaning to your life.

Ask yourself the next questions

– What have been the critical crossroads or turning points in my life?
– What were some of the missed opportunities and roads not taken?
– Who do I admire most in the world?
– Which talents and abilities have I not yet applied?
– If my life had absolutely no limits and I could have it all and do whatever I wanted, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

When we start to care about our unlived lives, they can change into the fuel that can move us past our obstructions.

Survey of unlived life

Make a survey of your unlived life during an Inner Journey and start to collect your own missing pieces. Make sure you have no regrets at the end of your life.


Most of us have two lives. The life we live and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance